Life as a Hermit – Day 8

It was nice to be among people for awhile yesterday. I am not the only one who lives “Out” as they like to call us, those who come in periodically and stock up on supplies, to disappear again for days or weeks at a time.  I appreciate that I am not technically a hermit, but it is the closest description I can come up with. Or at least the most succinct. “Tired of the bullshit social and economic system forced upon us daily and would really prefer the company of nature” is a little verbose.

Kaiju is great, and I can always blow Chet back up, and I love my books and hobbies and daily survival chores. But I miss having a partner in crime. A best friend. I realized this after being single for a number of years. It’s not a husband, or a roommate, or a lover that I miss the most. It is the best friend who listens to whatever has me wound up on a given day; who brings me a Blizzard from Dairy Queen when I’m having a bad day; who will drop everything to go shopping or skating or on a road trip with me from time to time. My husbands were both my best friends. I have left other best friends behind. I lost one to growing apart; another to envy and betrayal; another to an ill-conceived love affair; and another is too far away, although always close in my heart.

This is one of my reasons for living Out. It is easier to be without a companion because of geography than scarcity.  It’s like being in Baskin Robbins without a single flavor you would eat, or simply choosing to be away from it all so that ice cream is not even an option. So I create my own little universe here, on a 2 acre plot in the Rocky Mountains. Sometimes I dream of the impossible. But for the most part I try to remain in the present, and appreciate what I do have around me.

So today, I will appreciate my dog, and my surroundings, and the soothing aspects of solitude. And consider creating an imaginary best friend. I never had one as a kid, so maybe it’s time. And I wouldn’t be the first person to create an imaginary friend, whether due to geography or scarcity, right?

Advertisements

Life as a Hermit – Day 7

I miss Chet. Even a staring, expressionless punching bag is better than being utterly alone. Well, maybe not. At least I have my dog.

I spent the morning cutting and sanding one of the larch stumps that came out of the cabin footprint when I built it. It sat outside over the winter but has dried up nicely this spring, so it was ready to become something completely new. I’m not sure what it’s going to be yet. At the right moment it will look like something other than a stump, and then I will just follow its lead and take it where it wants to go. If only humans were so prescient.

I will go into town this afternoon. It is time for some human contact, some time on my laptop with free wi fi, and pick up some supplies. Maybe a drink at Charlie’s, then back home for an evening fire outdoors. It is still cool enough for a fire in the evening. I can play fetch with my dog, Kaiju, and tire him out that way.

I am starting to lose that antsy feeling that I should be somewhere or doing something other than what I am doing. I can’t remember when I last felt this way, at least besides holidays. Sometimes I find myself just sitting, letting my mind wander, and minutes later I have been sitting in one spot, contentedly fiddling with a stick, or a flower, or adding wood to the stove. This is one of the things that I am here for: for time to pass at its own pace, instead of wrestling it to slow down or speed up or whatever my whim of the moment demands.